Predicament
by Shahrezad1
Summary: Some things just get lost in translation. "Don't tell me you're going outside looking like that?" Just a one-shot, nothing more. ;


**Predicament**

By Shahrezad1

Summary: Some things just get lost in translation. "Don't tell me you're going outside looking like that?" Just a one-shot, nothing more. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Hatter, Alice, or Carroll. But I wish I did. XD

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"Don't tell me you're going outside looking like that?"

The question was blunt and emotionless, and made her feel fifteen all over again. Three different details which should never have been attached to her fiancé's person, but somehow were.

"Dressed like what?" Alice asked, looking herself up and down for a moment before turning back to the man before her.

"No, no, _no_, you can't play all innocent with me. Just, _no_. You know I'm just looking out for your best interests here, and you can't trick me into givin' in, with those…bleeding blue eyes of yours," and somehow she knew that protecting her _really was_ his intention. Although she couldn't for the life of her figure out what he was trying to protect her _from_. Honesty had never looked so bashful, as the usually brash Hatter turned away in deference to modesty, blush darkening his already whiskered cheeks, "and all I can say is that you'd best leave…_those_ where they belong."

A vague hand made a vague wave, but she was no closer to understanding what he meant than to falling through a rabbit hole. And then abruptly something clicked.

"What, do you mean my…my _pants?_"

"Trousers, slacks, b-bloomers, what have you. I know you Otherlandians are different, but you can't honestly tell me that women wear…wear…"

"Wear what, Hatter?"

"_Men's clothes._"

_Oh._ So _that's_ what this was about. Biting back a sudden grin, Alice allowed herself to circle her beau, his eyes falling shut and lips tight as though he regretted speaking. For fear of offending her, maybe, or so that he could perhaps wash the mental image from his mind, out of respect for her if nothing else?

"Hatter, I hate to burst your bubble," and here she interrupted herself but drawing close enough to place her arms around her neck, just looking at his face until he finally opened his eyes, relaxing under the feel of comfortable weight of one of her lovely hugs, "but most women, or at least women in _this_ country anyway, have been wearing pants since the thirties and forties. First for factory work, and then later for fashion when it became acceptable. Don't tell me that you didn't see at least a _few_ women wearing them when you first came through the Looking Glass?"

"Y-yes. But I assumed…" but she wasn't to know what he assumed, as the words rambled off into inaudible nonsense, until he finally focused on both her and the moment at hand (and hat), "…'sides, they were nothing like yours."

Nothing like hers? What _was_ he talking abou-.

She was wearing jeans. _Red_ jeans, which hugged her legs and flowed on up to her hips in order to show off her solidly shaped calves, brought on by constant training, and a trim waist. And somehow, even more than when she had been wearing that slim blue mini-dress, she was essentially showing off her form to the world. At least in his eyes, anyway. Which brought to mind something she'd seen flashing in his them since the first time he'd met Jack…

"So the problem isn't so much in _me_ going outside wearing them, as _other men_ seeing me wearing them then, right?"

His expression gave away the true answer. Alice Hamilton could only laugh, and eventually Hatter became accustomed to the idea of women wearing trousers. Or more specifically, Alice wearing trousers. Eventually.

~/~/~

AN:

It struck me that Alice is stuck wearing a dress the entire time, and, honestly, she seems more like a pants kinda girl to me. XD Especially when my roommate and I tend to change out of our church clothes into jeans as soon as we step through the doorway.

Naturally, not many women wear pants in Wonderland. -laughs- You would have thought that a mini-dress (and especially things like the Duchess' dress) would have made more of an impression on him, but no, this is Wonderland we're talking about here. And somehow there's a difference between a pretty girl in a wet dress (which is still very attractive, of course), and a pretty girl in some very form-fitting jeans. It's going to take some getting used to for the wonderful Hatter, carpet-bagging nature or no.


End file.
